One of the most frequent desires we hear from survivors is to go home, get married, and have their own family. Marriage symbolizes normalcy, and having someone who loves you and supports you. We have seen some successful and happy marriages that bring a lot of healing to girls. But we have also seen girls rush into marriages with men that we would not recommend, and even have directly counseled against. Still, when that happens we continue to stand with every girl, hoping for the best, and doing what we can to help her navigate and be protected when their marriages are difficult.
When social worker Shelly visited survivor Namrata (rescued in February 2011 from a brothel in Pune) she was shocked to see Namrata with a bandage on her leg.
She then became angry when she learned the reason for the bandage. Namrata's husband had stabbed her on her leg in a fit of rage. It took 10 stitches at the local clinic to close up the wound. Shelly pleaded with Namrata to file a complaint against her husband. Namrata refused. She brushed it off saying that he was angry. Namrata suffers from psychological issues but has refused treatment.
When a psychologist visited her a few years ago, Namrata was diagnosed as having severe anger issues. Namrata refused to go for treatment then and she continues to refuse treatment. Sometimes the walls formed in trauma do more to hold their victims in than keep danger out. We will continue to visit and support Namrata to the best of our ability, and hope she will eventually be willing to receive more help.
Another married survivor, Asha, who has been free for more than a decade, received a visit from social worker Reshma this month. Asha and her husband were at their home in Pune. Asha complained that her husband Dinesh hadn’t been to work in 15 days and was drinking and physically abusing her. Dinesh explained he was not making any progress at his job and just stopped going, hoping they would transfer him to another department. If they didn’t, he would start looking out for a new job. Asha was worried about the monthly home loan installments that they were paying. All her gold was pledged to the bank and running the home was falling on her. She wanted to start a tiffin service to make ends meet but Dinesh wanted to move to Kolhapur. After listening to all their grievances, Reshma spoke about financial management and also did some marriage counseling. Reshma encouraged Asha to give Dinesh time to find another job while maintaining peace in the home. She advised them if nothing worked out on the job front, they both could start a tiffin service. The couple received the suggestions well, and we hope they will continue forward together, not fighting against each other, and especially not resorting to violence. We remain available if Asha needs more help.