The Power of a Freedom Camp

Freedom Firm communications staff, Anugraha, gives us a special look at the power of a Freedom Camp:

"Hello there,  I’m Anugraha, a 22 year old, building a life I once dreamt of. Writing made me feel safe. My favorite stationery while growing up was a fancy journal and pen. Every new year my parents would gift me and my siblings a journal. The main purpose of giving us a journal was so that we could note down our prayer points and quiet times. I’m very sure that my journal had more than prayer points and quiet times noted. I had my life written in every journal I got and I would love to write a letter to myself. So everytime I wrote I started with “Dear Grace” ( I like the name Grace). Years later I discovered my passion for writing and so I took up a job in writing- but very different from the corporate world. Let me take you through an amazing experience I recently had.

This year I had the opportunity to meet survivors of sex trafficking  at an Adventure Camp that lasted for four days. For months I only wrote stories based on the information I received by emails and phone calls. Never had I met them in person. 

I still remember the first evening when I met them, I barely spoke a word. It was the fear of not knowing what to say or where to start a conversation. I kept wondering,  “What if I say something wrong ? What if my words hurt them?“ All these thoughts kept bothering me. I felt the weight of their stories before I even truly knew them.

The next day I gathered the courage to speak to the girls. And slowly something beautiful began to unfold. Everyday I could discover a new side of them. This made me learn more about them  and now I knew what I could speak about with them. 

After each session I observed them, some would sit quietly thinking about what they had just learnt, some spoke with the resource people sharing their struggles. I could see that they wanted to get out of their bubble and do more in life. 

One morning I sat in  during their dance therapy session. The instructor asked them to close their eyes and move their bodies according to whatever they felt at that moment.

As I watched them, I noticed so many different emotions. Some moved with tension with their eyes closed tight, as if they were fighting something inside. Some carried deep sadness, their shoulders drooping and walking aimlessly. Others seemed to move with a sense of relief, as if they had just dropped a big piece of baggage and didn’t bother to look back. 

The image that came to my mind is where I saw myself running endlessly through the woods. And that made me wonder how many times these girls would have felt the same? The desire to just runway and not be found. Because who can they even trust ?

When I saw them participating in games and other activities there was this excitement on their faces, you could also tell that they were scared, but they didn’t back down.

For those few days they felt free. Away from their daily routine of being labelled, felt free from the constant feeling of being judged or told that they are not worthy. And in those moments, they simply looked like little girls enjoying their life.

I remember it was the last evening of fun and activities. All the girls and the staff were asked to gather near the activity area. There was a big rock which was 40 feet high and 60 feet wide. On top of the rock was a Mysore fig tree. So the task was to climb steps up to the rock and then we would be harnessed and then we had to jump off the rock, it was a zipline activity. 

While Sharon ( the breakthrough instructor) was giving instructions, I was observing the girls. They all had different reactions to what Sharon said, some were excited to do the activity, while others were dead sure that they wouldn’t climb a step of that rock, because they were so scared. Well, what did I think? Will I be able to do it ? I thought let’s see first and then decide. The first one to go up was survivor Sneha, she rolled up her sleeves, got all ready, and climbed up the rock. And smoothly did the activity. Looking at her made my confidence build up. 

I was the last one to go. So, I got on my safety helmet and safety harness, ready to do my first zipline activity. I remember climbing up those steps, not feeling scared. When I reached the top, I had to slide over a branch to get to the edge of the rock. In that moment my fear creeped in, and all I could hear in my head was that trending instagram audio – ‘In that moment she realized she couldn’t do” I honestly couldn’t. I felt this was it. I’m going back. A thought in my head at that moment made me wonder, if I don’t do this now I would miss to experience what everyone down there felt. All the girls and our staff were down cheering, saying – didi aap kar sakte ho ( you can do it) Common didi, bas upar dekho neeche nahi dekhna hai( Don’t look down, keep your focus to the end of the zipline)  But its so easy to say and guide someone when you’re not in their shoes – when you don’t even have the slightest idea of what fear exactly are they facing. That’s when it hit me.

For me it was not the fear of doing the activity, it was the fear of taking one step closer to the edge of the rock and jumping. My feet were soaked in sweat. Sharon and Chandra who were up with me kept encouraging me. 

Earlier that morning the session was based on turning our negative thoughts into positive. I kept on saying “I can’t do this, it’s so scary”. Sharon reminded me of that session and asked, what is the opposite of I can’t and I said I can, there you go she said YOU CAN, you are safe, you won’t fall. I was so emotional in that moment- not because I was scared but because of the rich time I had spent with the girls and it all came out in a loud cry feeling sorry for what the girls went through. For the past three days I had bottled up all my feelings, but on this rock it all started to make sense of how life could be different if I take that one step into the unknown to see life through a different lens.

If you ever get an opportunity, do talk to them. You get to see a very different picture of life. I felt like I was watching a movie when I heard a survivor’s story. 

There’s something that I realized: the pen is in your hands, sometimes you need to be your own author, you can’t let the world write your story. 

By the end of the fourth day I felt so motivated, inspired and encouraged. Encouraged to continue writing more stories and to give voices to the unheard."

Anugraha